Super Scare Today

At this moment, I’m sitting in my kitchen, waiting for my phone to ring. It’s 2:38pm on Friday. I just went to the bathroom and was shocked to find bright red blood in the toilet. My heart is racing. I called my new OB doctor’s office and spoke with the receptionist and told her what was going on. She said she’d have a nurse call me right away.

So I’m sitting here waiting and watching my phone and it rings and it comes up Bob Pittman. I can’t answer it. I look at it and I let it go to voicemail. My heart is beating faster now.

They still haven’t called me back and it’s now 2:44pm. Though it’s only been six minutes, I’m panicking. I wish I had an ultrasound machine in my home. I just want them to call me and tell me to get there right away.
I just listened to Bob’s message and he asked if he could send any beauty products with Max for next Tuesday’s First Trimester Class at the OB’s office. He has no idea that I’m sitting in my kitchen at this moment wondering if there is even going to be a class for us next Tuesday.

Come on little baby. I’ve gotten used to you being there. I want you stay here. Why aren’t they calling?!!!

I just called Seattle Reproductive. They are ordering an ultrasound. Though Lindsey said it’s quite common to have bleeding, I’m freaking out. I’m leaving in 45 minutes to have an ultrasound.  I’m downing 32 ounces of water right now and talking to Busse, who is telling me it’s going to be fine. She’s my best friend and I believe her. "I swear, I'll quit bitching about being fat and won't complain anymore at all, as long as this baby is O.K.," I say.

She said I could complain all I want and that she knows the baby is fine because she found a pair of perfect, scratch-free Coach sunglasses on the side of the street today.  "Nothing can go wrong on a day like this," she tells me.  "Especially to a baby." In one hour, I will know…
It’s 5:00pm exactly and I have just returned from the ultrasound. The baby is four whole centimeters long, with all its fingers and toes and a very healthy, beating heart. I saw its brain, its face, its jaw.  It was moving around like crazy, kicking its legs and swinging its arms.

It’s amazing how something four centimeters long can occupy so much space inside me. This little person is not only swimming in my belly, but it’s in my head and in my heart and it looks like it plans to stay.  And though I complain about being a big ol' fatty, I could not be more glad for that.